Starting Over
by md1347
Summary: Six months after Noah moves out to LA, he gets a phone call from Lily. Luke needs help. Will Noah be able to help Luke?
1. Chapter 1

**Starting Over**

by Mike Douglas

_Special thanks to nezabudka1 for help with editing the story._

Rating: NC-17 (Adult Language, Sexual Situations – gay sex)

_Disclaimer: Luke, Noah, and all related characters, plots, and locations are property of As the World Turns, Telenext Media, and CBS Television. No profit is made from this fan creation. No copyright infringement is intended!_

-P-

It's been six months since Noah's move to Los Angeles. He's settled down pretty quickly in a nice apartment with a gym on the same block, all close to his office where he is working on his film. Every day, he wakes up thinking about Luke. He's always wondering what Luke is doing and how he's feeling. They've kept in touch for the five of the six months that he's been in Los Angeles but for the last month, frankly Noah hasn't heard anything from Luke.

Then one day Noah's cell phone started ringing. It was Lily. It would be Noah's first conversation with Lily in two months as he's been too busy working on his film to talk to anyone.

"Hi, Lily." answered Noah.

"Oh good, I'm so glad you answered." Lily sounded relieved.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Luke." She paused for a minute and then continued. "He's drinking again."

Noah was stunned. "Are you sure?"

"Of course we are sure." Lily snapped at Noah.

Noah could almost feel the glare through the phone. "Sorry, Lily, you wouldn't be calling me if he wasn't."

"It's been two weeks now and we can't get him to stop him." Trying not to cry. "We need your help."

"My help? What can I do?"

"We would like you to come to Oakdale to talk with him." To Lily, Noah was that one last chance, the last hope to save her son.

"I'm not so sure that's a good idea, Lily"

"I know things were left wide open between you and Luke and you both are hurting because of it but, Noah, I'm asking you because we don't know what else to do." pleaded Lily. "If he doesn't stop, he will die."

"Lily, it's not that I don't want to…" Noah's mind drifted back to two conversations he had with Luke.

"_Since when? Whatever happened to standing up for each other no matter what? I really believed in that but I guess all bets are off when the going gets tough." said Luke. (flashback Video – after election scandal when Noah packed his stuff and moved out of the Snyder farm.– LukeVanFan part 218 1:22)_

"_You know, no matter what happens we are always going to be friends." said Noah. (flashback Video – when Luke told Noah that Brian kissed him. – LukeVanFan part 228 1:00)_

"Noah, are you there?" Lily was concerned when Noah stopped talking during mid-sentence.

"Yes, I'm here, sorry. I'll come to Oakdale. How fast can Lucinda get her jet here?"

"It's already on its way. We knew you would say yes."

"Great. I'm predictable, aren't I." laughed Noah as Lily joined in.

-P-

Noah's flight to Oakdale was a quiet one as he knew that in a matter of hours he'd come face-to-face with Luke. His first boyfriend, his first love, first everything. Noah just hoped that he'd arrive in time to help Luke face whatever demons still haunted his soul.

Noah stopped his rental car in front of Lily's house and slowly exited it while taking in the scenery, remembering the happier times. He made his way to the open front door of the house with Lily and Holden waiting for him.

"Noah, we are so glad you could make it." said Holden as he pulled Noah into a quick hug before they shuffled him into the house.

"I'm glad I could help. You know I could make things worse?"

"I'm not sure you could." said Lily sadly.

Noah was shocked by her response and by her emotions that she wore so openly on her face.

"He's that bad?" Noah was shocked. He knew from experience that Luke turned to alcohol to hide his pain but even he didn't expect Luke to have such a setback and drown his pain in liquor.

"Yes." Lily said sadly.

"Luke has been putting all this time into the new surgical wing. It opened three weeks ago…"

"That explains it." Noah said offhand. Seeing Lily and Holden's expressions he continued. "Luke and I were emailing, calling, texting since I left but he stopped about a month ago."

"He put all his effort and feelings into the new wing but now it's over. He's thinking what now? He used the new wing as a distraction from his problems." Lily provided some insight as to what Luke has been feeling.

Noah just sat there, not knowing what to say. He felt a little awkward.

"We know this is hard for you, Noah but we just don't know who else can help him, like you can." Holden was being honest. "I don't think this is only about Reid and the wing being finished. He's been hiding from his feelings about you too."

"What about Grimaldi Shipping and the foundation?" Noah asked curiously.

"Lucinda is running Grimaldi now. Luke wanted to spend all his time working to make the new wing the best it could be." replied Lily. "I'm running World Wide and the foundation."

"I didn't know that." Noah processed the new information for a minute as he finally came to terms that Luke was spinning out of control. Noah looked solemnly at Lily and Holden. "Okay, let's go find him."

-P-

They made their plan to look for Luke and then split up. Lily went to check the hospital, Holden went to check the pond and the farm and Noah went to Al's, Yo's and the bars in town.

Noah was lucky and found Luke at Yo's. As Noah entered the bar, his attention focused on some guy who was standing real close to Luke and talking to him.

"What are you doing here drinking, Luke? Noah asked Luke in a stern voice.

"Hey, Noah." smirked a slightly drunken Luke, "I'm just here to whistle my wet." He immediately realized he said it backwards and started laughing.

"Who are you?" inquired Ben, the guy who was chatting up Luke.

"I'm his ex and he's leaving with me." Noah replied a firm voice.

"Oh no, I've been buying his drinks for a hour." Ben was annoyed, "He's coming home with me."

Noah wasn't in the mood to listen to some guy who just wanted to have Luke for sex, he pulled out his wallet, threw a $20 bill on the bar. "Here... for your trouble."

"We are leaving." said Noah as he helped Luke off the bar stool. Ben was persistent. He stepped in front of the front door and would not let them leave the bar.

Everyone in the bar soon noticed the confrontation at the front door of the bar and came over to watch.

Noah was starting to get mad now. He took off his jacket and gave it to Luke. "Stay here." Since Noah's been in Los Angeles, he's been working out regularly and put on ten pounds of muscle.

"I have no problem going through you." said Noah in a threatening voice as he started to crack his knuckles.

Ben threw the first punch. Noah blocked it with his left hand and threw a right cross to Ben's nose so hard that you could hear the bones cracking.

"Son of a bitch!" yelled Ben out in pain. "You broke my nose!"

Noah didn't care. He just wanted to get Luke home and away from the bar. Noah grabbed Luke, pushed Ben out of the way and walked out of Yo's without any more trouble.

"Why did you do that?" yelled Luke. "He's not going to want to buy me drinks anymore."

"Good. You shouldn't be drinking in the first place." Noah was blunt.

As they approached the car, Noah pulled out his phone and called Holden. "I've got him, Holden. We are on our way to Lily's house." he spoke into the phone. "Can you call Jack and tell him to take the call at Yo's, if they receive one. I had to punch someone to get Luke out of there… Yeah, I think I broke his nose… He was blocking the door; I didn't have a choice… See you at the house. Bye." Noah hung up the phone.

"What are you doing here anyway?" asked an annoyed Luke.

"Your parents flew me in to talk some sense into you."

"There's nothing wrong with me." Luke was slurring his words.

"Yeah, right." replied a disgusted Noah.

The rest of the trip to Lily's house was quiet. Noah got out of the car and helped get Luke into the house. He sat Luke down in the kitchen chair and put on a pot of coffee as he pulled a container of water out of the refrigerator.

"Drink this until the coffee's ready." said Noah as he put down an unopened bottle of water in front of Luke. He turned his back just for a second to check on the coffee and Luke took advantage of it by sneaking out of the kitchen. Noah turned around and Luke was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

"Shit." yelled Noah as he ran out of the kitchen and saw Luke, in the living room, with a bottle of vodka, trying to get the lid off it. "What the hell, Luke."

Lily and Holden walked in the front door to witness the beginning of a confrontation.

Noah walked up to Luke and grabbed the vodka bottle angrily out of Luke's hand.

"What the hell is this, Luke?" Noah asked angrily.

"I want a drink."

"Why?"

Luke made a grab for the bottle but Noah kept it away from him.

"Tell me why you want to drink." Noah yelled with even more anger in his voice.

"Fuck you, Noah." Luke shouted back in anger.

Unable to control his anger, Noah threw the bottle up against the fireplace bricks. The glass bottle shattered into a million pieces like Luke's heart has been for the past six months.

Lily and Holden stood there looking wide eyed at what was unfolding in front of them. They've never seen Noah so angry before.

Luke stood there in shock. He's only seen Noah this mad once after he kissed Brian.

Noah looked at Luke with rage in his eyes. "Why do you want to kill yourself?"

Luke didn't answer.

"Why?" Noah shouted in Luke's face.

"Noah…" Luke started to reply.

"Why, Luke?" pleaded Noah again a little bit quieter. "We do not understand, make us understand."

"I don't…" Luke started to reply but was cut off by Noah.

"You know every time you drink you run the risk of damaging your kidney."

"I don't…"

"Do you want to die?" asked Noah.

Noah looked down and picked up the neck of the vodka bottle.

Without any hesitation, Noah grabbed Luke's hand and put the jagged neck of the bottle into it. "Here, take this?" he said.

"Why?"

"Go upstairs to the bathroom and slice your wrists with it!" said Noah with all seriousness.

"What the hell, Noah?" yelled Luke.

Noah shouted. "Do you know how much pain your family went through when you had your transplant? Do you want them to go through that again?"

"Stop it, Noah!" shouted Lily.

"Stay out of this. This is between Luke and me." warned Noah as he looked over at Lily and Holden. Holden grabbed Lily and prayed that Noah knew what he was doing.

Noah turned back to Luke. "May be you can shove it in your neck and cut one of the arteries. That will make it quicker." Noah suggested as he pointed to his neck.

"Stop it." yelled Luke.

"We could spread your ashes in the pond, like you did Reid's." He could hear Lily crying in the background. "You can be together forever then."

"Stop it." shouted Luke as he started to cry. "Just stop it."

"Answer my question." Noah demanded. "Why are you drinking?"

"My life sucks. Is that what you wanted to hear?" Luke shouted his reply. "We broke up, Reid died, you left, I can't stand my job and all my friends have moved away. Is that enough reason for you?" Luke dropped the bottle neck and broke down crying.

This was the first time in months that Luke admitted what he was feeling... he felt broken inside and out. He was alone.

Noah pulled Luke into a hug and just let Luke cry out his pain. He looked over his shoulder towards the door and saw Holden holding a limp Lily in his arms as the both of them were crying too.

"I'm sorry I was so rough on you, Luke. You had to express what you're feeling and to finally stop holding it in." said Noah. "I'm sorry. I love you, Luke."

Luke stiffened in Noah's arms and pulled away. "You don't love me." Luke wiped away the tears. "You tossed me away like a tissue."

"Don't you think I wake up every day, alone, knowing that I failed you?" Noah started to cry. "Don't you think I wish with all my heart that I could go back and change it?"

"Well, you can't." shouted Luke.

"No, I can't. I can only show you that I will never do it again." Noah shouted his reply.

"How can I trust you, Noah?" asked Luke in a calmer voice.

"How can I trust you, Luke?" Noah inquired Luke in return.

"What?" Luke's eyes widened in surprise.

"You kissed Brian and then you kissed Reid. I have just as much reason not to trust you as you not trusting me."

"We weren't together when I kissed Reid." shouted Luke.

"I know but you lied to me over and over. You told me nothing was going on between you and Reid." Noah said with anger in his voice, "You told me we would try to work things out and then I saw you kiss him. Do you know what that did to me?"

"It probably hurt you as much as when you hurt me." Luke's voice was full of sadness.

"That's right but I forgave you. I forgave when you kissed Brian and I forgave you for kissing and lying to me about Reid because I love you. That's what you do when you love someone."

"It's not that easy." cried Luke.

"No, it's not but I was able to forgive you. Why can't you forgive me?"

"I'm afraid."

"And I'm not? I'm afraid you will kiss someone else, again. I'm afraid you will drink yourself to death. I dropped everything to come to see you, to help you. Doesn't that tell you something?"

Luke stood there for a minute, stunned by what Noah had said. Luke took a step forward and Noah pulled him into a hug.

Noah broke the hug and looked at Luke. "Feeling better?"

"Sort of. Thanks for helping me, Noah." The look of love was reemerging in Luke's eyes, if only just a glimpse of it.

"You're welcome." said Noah. "Now, Mister, get into a shower." as he swatted at Luke's behind.

Luke laughed and then turned to his parents. "I'm sorry." he said.

Lily and Holden walked over to Luke, giving him a big hug. When their hug broke, Luke went to his room to take a shower.

-P-

"Thank you, Noah." said Holden as he pulled Noah into a hug. He could feel Noah shaking and knew that Noah was crying. After a few minutes of the hug, Noah broke the hug and wiped his eyes.

"I'm sorry." Noah felt ashamed.

"Don't worry about it." said Lily with tears in her eyes. She knew that Noah loved her son and it pained Noah not to be with him.

"We're just happy you came to help, Luke." said Holden. "Although, I wanted to punch you a couple of times when you were yelling at Luke." he ended with a grin.

"I know it was harsh but it needed to be, you know, to really sink in. I'm sorry about the vodka bottle. If you want, I can help clean it up."

"Don't worry about it. It's better off against the fireplace than in Luke." Lily replied honestly.

"We need to feed Luke when he comes down and get him to drink as much water as he can. Frankly, I'm a little hungry too." laughed Noah.

"Men are always hungry. Want me to make you something too, Holden?" Holden nodded his reply as Lily laughed.

Lily was in the kitchen heating up some lasagna that she had cooked earlier that evening. Noah explained to them where he had found Luke and about the guy who was chatting him up. He mentioned that the guy wanted to fight for Luke.

"I'm sure his nose is broken." cringed Noah. "I didn't have much choice though, he blocked the door."

"You look like you've been working out a lot." said Holden.

"Very nice indeed." noted Lily. Noah turned red as Lily and Holden laughed. And it was that laughter that Luke was hearing as he descended the stairs.

Luke walked into the kitchen in a t-shirt and lounging pants. He sat down at the kitchen table to eat and drink coffee. Noah thought that Luke's had enough serious conversation today, so he asked about how the family was doing. Holden was filling him in on all the latest happenings. Luke finished his supper and was soon shuffled up to his bedroom to get some sleep. He went willingly as he was tired. He gave everyone a hug and apologized again before he went up to his room.

-P-

The next morning, Luke woke up to find Noah in his bed.

Luke shook Noah awake "Why are you in my bed?"

"I slept here in case you needed me." shrugged Noah.

"I'm not sure I like that idea. You don't have the right."

"What? I wasn't trying to have sex with you, Luke. You were drunk. I was concerned about you."

"Noah, you can't do this."

"Do what? Let's talk, Luke." Noah was frustrated. "Not yell, or scream, but talk."

"Fine, you want to talk, let's talk. Where should we start? Oh, yes, you were a total jerk. I broke up with you and started seeing someone else. Then you decided you didn't like it. Now you want to come back into my life and I'm supposed to forget everything that happened?" replied Luke.

"That's a bit unfair. I will take my blame but you also must take yours."

"What blame?" Luke couldn't help but feel insulted.

"You smothered me, Luke. I know you wanted to help but I needed to work things some things out on my own."

"How is it wrong to help you?" Luke asked in frustration.

"Let me put it this way. Say I didn't go to Los Angeles and instead I stayed in Oakdale and after Reid died, I was always trying to help you with everything and didn't give you a chance to grieve. How would you feel?"

Luke thought about it for a moment. Noah was right. There would be no way he could have grieved for Reid with Noah around all the time.

"Is that how you felt?"

"Since we are being honest, yes, that's how I felt. It's not your fault, Luke, it's how you are but I wasn't thinking clearly at the time to try to explain it."

"No, you weren't." laughed Luke as Noah joined in.

"I wasn't able to communicate through my anger and frustration about being blind. I said and did some horrible things to the people I love." said Noah. "I really regret that now, Luke, I really do."

"But after your sight returned, you still didn't want me." Luke recalled the conversation with Noah at the bar after being caught kissing Reid.

"I was furious with you, Luke. I saw you kiss Reid passionately and I didn't know how our relationship could work after that. I had some hope until you started going out with Reid that we could work on whatever remained of our relationship but then it was too late. You seemed to really like Reid and I thought you would be better off with him. But in all honesty, I never stopped loving you."

"I loved Reid, Noah but I wasn't in love with him. But he wouldn't have left me and well, you have."

"That's not entirely true, Luke." Noah was cautious. He wanted to be honest with Luke while trying not to hurt him.

"You did leave me, Noah." said Luke in shock.

"No, I meant Reid. He did try to leave you several time, if I remember right." replied Noah truthfully.

"When?" Luke was stunned.

"Well, you told me that he kicked you out of his apartment and he didn't want to see you. He also quit his job and was leaving town, without telling you. Don't you remember that?" replied Noah. "I don't know if there were any other times."

"But those…" started Luke.

"Don't make different rules, Luke. You have to use the same rules when it comes to comparing Reid to me."

Luke was stunned and speechless. All he could do at that moment was stare off in space.

Snapping his fingers, Noah finally got Luke's attention. "I think you should write your feelings down, like you used to. Maybe it will reignite your passion for writing again."

"I just might do that."

Noah was getting hungry and suggested they get something to eat. They walked down and saw Lily in the kitchen.


	3. Chapter 3

"Good morning. How did you sleep?" Lily greeted the boys as they entered the kitchen.

"Pretty good. I have a bit of a hangover but not too bad." said Luke.

"I've made pancakes, so I hope you're hungry." said Lily. "Your Dad called, he should be here for breakfast."

"Are you kidding? I'm starved." Noah said laughing as Holden walked through the front door.

Lily put breakfast on the table and they sat down to eat.

"Shall we continue our talk?" Noah asked as they sat down for breakfast.

"What with Mom and Dad here?" Luke was a little shocked at Noah being so straightforward.

"Sure, why not. We've been talking about my accident, blindness, Reid and about how Luke needs to compare apples to apples and not apples to oranges, before we came downstairs." Noah said to Lily and Holden.

"I guess we could do that." Luke felt a bit freaked out having to continue his conversation with Noah in front of his parents.

"I still would like you to come with me to Los Angeles." said Noah. "But if you decide to stay here in Oakdale, I think you should get your own place."

Luke, Lily and Holden all looked at Noah like he was crazy.

"Why should I move out?" Luke was surprised by Noah's comment.

"You're twenty-three years old and you live with your mother, Luke." replied Noah.

Luke was taken back in time to when he told Noah that he was such a loser working with his mother. _(flashback Video –Luke tells Noah that "_I work with my mother, I'm such a loser_." – LukeVanFan part 284 :09) _

Luke was wondering if he should feel offended. "Dad lives with his mother." Luke countered.

"Yes, but he wouldn't be if him and Lily weren't being as stupid as us."

"Hey." said Lily, Holden and Luke at the same time. All three started laughing. After the laughter subsided, they started questioning Noah.

"How are we being stupid?" Holden questioned defensively.

"Yeah, I would like to know that too." asked Lily a bit uptight.

"You two love each other. You always have. You're just scared of being hurt and hurting each other again. Start off slow, like I plan to with Luke. Go on a few casual dates, court each other again, like you did when you first met and see where it leads."

"Noah does have a point." Holden turned to Lily.

"He does?" replied Lily.

"Yes, we've been dancing around each other since Molly and I called it quits. I think we are both interested but scared."

"That's true."

"How did you get this insightful?" Luke asked in wonder.

"Therapy."

"When did you start going to therapy?" asked Luke in surprise.

"After I got my sight back. I couldn't handle losing you, getting my eyesight back, losing my family, school and work all at the same time."

"Wait, you didn't lose us?" Lily was a bit surprised at Noah's comment.

"In a way, I did. I wasn't invited to any of the parties or barbeques you had after Luke and I broke up. I wasn't invited to Holden's wedding either." Noah spoke bluntly.

Lily and Holden looked at each other in shock. They didn't even realize that Noah was unintentionally left out of the Snyder family gatherings.

"Oh, Noah, we are so sorry." Lily apologized.

"It's been a strange summer and we didn't mean to…" replied Holden.

"I wasn't complaining. I know you were busy with your own issues." Noah was still saddened and hurt over the loss of this family and his own stupidity of retreating into himself when he needed Luke the most.

Luke was impressed. He's never seen Noah so self-assured before. It was a real turn on for him. That's what attracted him to…

"Oh, my god." Luke said stunned as he dropped his fork.

"What?" asked Noah.

"I was just thinking about how hot your self-assuredness was and it reminded me of Reid."

"I didn't need to hear that." shrieked Noah, a little cheeky.

"But it's a big turn on." Luke winked at Noah.

"I didn't need to hear that." laughed Holden.

"So, changing the subject, what are you boys going to do today?" asked Lily, changing the subject. Holden was relieved.

Luke shrugged his shoulders but Noah had plans.

"Well, first Luke and I are going on a date." Noah said confidently.

"What? You want to take me out on a date?" Luke was a little surprised.

"Yes, I'm only in town for a couple of days and I want to have a date with you." said Noah.

"I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet, Noah." Luke was just trying to be honest.

"Sure you are. It's been six months, Luke and I'm only talking about Al's for lunch at the quiet table in the corner. I'm not taking no for an answer."

"Really, Noah, I'm not…"

"I'm not asking you to have sex with me, Luke." said Noah with a cheeky grin on his face. "Well, not yet anyway. Besides, I know you better than you know yourself."

"You do, do you?" laughed Luke. "What am I thinking?"

"You love him but you love me too. You only buried your feelings because you were hurt. I just have to find that part of you that loves me and bring it back to the surface." said Noah confidently.

"You're awfully sure of yourself, aren't you?"

"Yes."

Luke was stunned by Noah's response. "He's serious." Luke said to himself. He looked at his parents who were looking happily at Noah.

"You think he's right?" Luke asked his parents.

"Yes, I think he is right." said Holden. Lily agreed with him.

"Why?" Luke questioned his parents with a stunned look on his face.

"You've smiled more this morning than you have in the past six months and it shows on your face." replied Lily.

Noah got up from the kitchen chair and said, "I think I'm going to go take a shower now." as he peeled off his shirt slowly in front of Luke. He leaned over to Luke and said "I want to be as clean as I can for our date." He stood back up, turned around and started walking to Luke's bedroom.

Luke looked over how buff Noah had gotten. He was in good shape when he left for Los Angeles but he looked hot now. Noah caught Luke staring at his muscled body, six pack and his thick happy trail that went down into his lounging pants.

"That's dirty." said Luke before Noah got out the door. Noah turned around stood there for a minute slightly flexing and then winked before he left the room.

"Wow." mouthed Lily after Noah left the room.

"I think I need a cold drink." Holden gave her a dirty stare as Luke was still looking at the door, hoping Noah would come back through it with his shirt still off.

Luke sat and talked to his parents until Noah was out of his shower, then took one of his own. It wasn't long after that they went to Java and then to Al's for lunch.

-P-

Noah and Luke saw Katie and Chris in a booth at Al's when they entered the diner and just waved as they went by. Luke noticed that Chris was eating a salad and Katie was having a burger and fries. He was glad to see that Chris was trying to be healthy but seeing Chris was a hard reminder that Reid was no longer around.

After they ordered and while they ate Noah told Luke about his life in Los Angeles, about his apartment, gym down the street, his film and how's he's editing it now and such. When they finished eating, Noah excused himself to use the men's room.

Katie noticed Noah walking towards the men's room and sent Chris in to talk to him. He complained but it didn't stop her from demanding he do so while she went to talk to Luke.

Chris entered the men's room approaching Noah, who had just finishing rinsing his hands, "Noah, how are you doing?"

"Great, how about you, Chris, I'm sure you're getting tired of talking about it but how's your health?"

"I'm so tired of it." Chris laughed. "But it's good. I can't really complain. How are you doing?"

"Let me guess, Katie sent you in?"

"Yes, how did you guess?"

"Long story short. Los Angeles is great. Film is great and coming along nicely. Luke and I are on a date and I'm trying to convince him to come with me but he's still hurting. He was drinking again, so I came back to try to get him to stop. Not sure he will come with me but I'm trying." said Noah. "How's that?"

"Perfect." laughed Chris.

Mean while Katie slipped from her table to sit in Noah's seat.

"How's it going, Luke?" asked Katie.

"It's going." shrugged Luke.

"Haven't seen you around in a couple of weeks, hope you're doing well?" Katie was trying to get some information from Luke.

Luke knew she was fishing. "No, Katie, it hasn't. I'm still having a rough time with Noah, Reid and all that mess."

"I figured, but in all honesty, it will get better. I know from personal experience." Katie said sadly.

"I don't think I feel much better than when it happened." Luke didn't think he would ever get over Reid's death.

"The hurt, pain and emptiness I felt over losing Brad didn't ease for me until Chris came into my life." replied Katie. "So, what's Noah doing back?"

"Mom and Dad called him and he flew back to help me out." said Luke, not wanting to tell her the entire story. "I think he wants to get back with me but I just can't."

Noah and Chris exited the men's room and were two booths away when Noah stopped as he heard his name mentioned.

"Katie, I could never go back with Noah. Our relationship is over. I could never go back to what we had." Luke said with all honestly.

-P-

Noah stood there crushed and he staggered back a bit into Chris who also overheard the conversation. Katie looked up and saw the look on Noah's face and her face dropped. Luke noticed the change in her expression and turned his head only to see the look on Noah's face. "Oh god, he heard me." Luke said to himself.

Noah recovered quickly, "I'll go pay the bill, so we can leave."

"Noah…" Luke was trying to explain to Noah what he had just overheard but it was useless to try to talk to him.

"Not now." Noah said bluntly.

"Shit!" cursed Luke as he watched Noah storm up to the register to pay the bill.

"I'm sorry, Luke, I should have noticed them coming." Katie tried to apologize.

"It's not your fault, Katie, its mine." replied Luke honestly.

Noah came back over to leave a tip on the table and turned to Luke. "You ready to go?"

Luke thought he was calmer than he was but you could tell that he was upset.

"Will you be in town for long, Noah?" asked Chris.

"Probably till the end of the week."

"Good, maybe we can get together?"

"I'm not really sure, but we can probably do lunch or something." replied Noah. Luke just sat there without saying anything. "I do want to get to the gym today."

"I noticed how buff you've gotten." said Katie. "From a feminine perspective, it looks great."

"Thanks." Noah blushed, which made him look even cuter. "We really need to get going though. It was nice to see you both again."

They said their goodbyes and left. Luke tried to start a conversation in the car but Noah didn't say much. When they arrived at the house, Noah got his workout clothes on and headed for the gym without speaking with Luke. Noah worked out for couple of hours thinking about what Luke had said and how he felt about that. He called Lily and asked if he could move into the spare room which she was fine with. He dodged the best he could the many questions about why he decided to stay a few extra days and was able to get off the phone without revealing anything. When he returned to the house, he found Luke waiting for him in the living room.

"Can we talk now about what happened at Al's?" asked Luke.

Noah took off his coat and hung it up. He turned around and said, "Can I take a shower first?" He made the point of lifting his arm and smelled his pit.

Like this morning. He reached down and pulled off his shirt, showing off his enlarged muscles from his workout. There stood Noah in a pair of shoes, socks and skimpy pair of shorts. Luke just sat there and gawked at Noah's hot muscular body. Neither one had sex in eighteen months but controlled themselves although they both wouldn't have minded having sex in the middle of the living room.

"Sure, go ahead." Luke almost whispered in a hoarse voice.

Noah knew the effect he was having on Luke and decided to use it to his advantage. "I'm going to get a bottle of water first, you want one?"

"Sure." Luke spoke quietly as he watched Noah head out into the kitchen in just his skimpy shorts. "God" he said under his breath.

Noah walked back into the living room holding two bottles of water, he stood in front of Luke and gave him his bottle as he took a sip from his. Noah stood close enough for Luke to smell his manly scent and he intentionally spilled a little bit of water down his chest. He rubbed his hand around his chest and abs, rubbing the water around, making his skin glisten for a minute before he excused himself. Noah chuckled to himself as he saw Luke just stare at him when he was rubbing the water into his skin.

Noah grabbed his things out of Luke's room and headed into the guest room's bathroom to hop into the shower. After a few minutes, Luke walked up stairs to his room only to find it empty. He walked out of his room to the guest room and heard the shower running. A few minutes later, Noah walked out of the bathroom with only a white towel on.

Luke was speechless as he recalled a memory of when he saw Noah in Branson.

"_Where's Will's room?" asked Luke._

"_Just down the hall, let me give you the key." Noah said as his towel falls off. (flashback Video – Noah, Maddie in towels after sex with Luke looking for Will. – LukeVanFan part 18 5:24)_

Noah grabbed his suitcase from the floor, placing it on the bed and opened the zipper on his bag when his towel fell off.

"Sorry." said Noah but this time, he didn't pick up his towel. He just left it on the floor.

Luke was in shock. He just sat there in a chair in the guest room with Noah naked in front of him. "Man, he's looking good." thought Luke, as he took all of Noah in. Noah intentionally turned toward Luke, to show him his big dick for a minute and then continued to dig into his luggage. He pulled out a pair of skimpy briefs and put them on, much to the dismay of Luke, who Noah could see in the mirror with a sad look on his face. Noah then pulled out a pair of pants and shirt. He put on some deodorant and then got dressed. He went back into the bathroom to dry his hair all the while smiling in the mirror.

When Noah returned to the room, he found Luke still sitting there in a stunned state. "Let's go downstairs and talk." said Noah. As they walked downstairs and sat on the couch, Lily and Holden walked in the door and headed directly to the kitchen to make dinner.

-P-

"What you said today at Al's really hurt."

"I'm sorry but it's how I feel."

"I do too." Luke looked stunned.

"What do you mean? You don't want to have a relationship with me?" asked Luke.

"Luke, we cannot go back to what we had. We can only go forward with a new relationship. If that's what we choose to do." said Noah.

"I'm just not sure…"

"What are your feelings for me?"

"I just…" started Luke again.

"Damn it, Luke. Just tell me."

"I love you, there I said it... but I can't be hurt again, Noah. I just can't."

"You're going to be hurt in any relationship you have in the future, Luke. That's just how it is. You can't change that. The question you need to ask yourself and it doesn't have to be today but are you in love with me enough to try again or do you not want to at all?"

"I can't answer that right now."

"I knew that when I asked."

For the rest of the day, Noah worked on his script and barely spoke to anyone, other than going to the farm to have an early dinner with Luke's brothers and sisters and some of the Snyder clan.

When Noah came back from the farm, Luke was ready to talk. They sat down on the couch again.

"I just don't think I can do it again, Noah." said Luke. "I do love you but I'm afraid of being hurt."

Noah was disgusted to hear what Luke had told him. "Fine." he said as he got up and went into the kitchen where Lily seemed to be having a similar discussion with Holden. Luke followed him in the kitchen.

"Holden, let's go to Yo's for a drink." Noah all but demanded.


	4. Chapter 4

"Noah, don't you think we should finish our conversation?"

Holden jumped at the chance to get out of the house, so he agreed.

Luke seemed mad at Noah ignoring his question and he tried again.

"Noah, don't you think we should talk about this more?" asked Luke.

"We've talked and we talked but you do not want to be in a relationship with me. Well, fine. You win." Noah said with frustration in his voice.

Not wanting to hear another word coming from Luke, Noah walked out of the kitchen. A few minutes later, he walked back into the kitchen in a white tank top on showing off every single muscle in his upper body.

"Is that how you dress when you go out to bars in Los Angeles?" Luke asked half mad.

"No, I don't go to bars in Los Angeles. But will dress like this when I start going." He saw Luke's angry reaction to his comment. "Why shouldn't I? You don't want me." Holden and Noah walked out the door together leaving both Lily and Luke fuming.

-P-

Holden and Noah have been at the bar for an hour and they were getting hit on by pretty much every single woman and gay guy in the joint. They were getting a little tipsy when Chris and Katie walked in to play pool. They noticed Noah and Holden at the bar drinking and went up to talk to them.

"How's it going guys?" asked Chris cautiously.

"We're commiserating together." Noah and Holden clinked glasses together.

Chris and Katie looked at each other with worry. Both men were on their way to getting drunk.

"The Walsh's in our lives don't want to be with us." said Holden sadly.

"I'm sorry to hear that." sympathized Katie.

"Our pool table is open, we will talk to you guys later." said Chris. "And take it easy. Getting drunk isn't going to solve your problem."

"We're not getting drunk, well, maybe a little tipsy, but we do need your help before you go." asked Noah. "We will be unable to drive; can you call Lily and have both Lily and Luke come get us?"

"Sure." said Chris, wondering what Noah was up to. They both left and went to play pool. He turned around to see Noah explain his plan to Holden and watched them clink glasses and smile.

Few minutes later Katie said "I'm calling Luke and Lily now." when she saw Tony and Melissa walk towards Holden and Noah.

"Oh, I get it now." laughed Chris. Katie gave him a 'what are you talking about' look. "Just wait."

She called Luke. "Luke, its Katie, we are at Yo's shooting some pool and Noah and Holden look like they have had too much to drink."

"How bad is it?" asked Luke.

"It's not yet but I think they are pretty close to getting very drunk. I think you both should come down to get them."

"We'll be there in a few minutes." He knew Noah only got drunk when he was really upset.

-P-

Fifteen minutes later, Luke and Lily walked into Yo's and approached to Katie and Chris.

"How are they doing?" asked Lily.

"Well, they are still drinking and getting hit on by every single person in the bar but they've shooed everyone off." said Chris.

Luke gave Chris the evil eye.

"We are just playing pool. I have soda water in my glass, Luke." answered Chris to Luke's stare.

Before Luke could respond, Lily almost yelled "Is that Tony with Noah?"

Just the name Tony gave Luke a goosebumps. Luke could remember when they were invited to the lake house by Reg and Tony. All Tony wanted was to get Noah in the hot tub. _(flashback Video – Luke and Noah have a discussion about Tony wanting to see Noah naked in a hot tub. – LukeVanFan part 128 :06)_

"Yes and he has the hots for Noah. Is that Melissa with Dad?"

"Yes, it is. The slut. Your father has such bad taste."

Chris laughed slightly. Melissa was an attractive blond with large breasts. Chris leaned over and whispered to Katie, "Don't get between them and their pray. They will be striking soon." Katie giggled slightly.

Tony was flirting, touching Noah's arm and standing close to him. Noah seemed to be enjoying the attention from Tony and when Noah touched Tony's shoulder, Luke almost went into a jealous rage. At the same time, Melissa was doing the same thing to Holden and Lily just as Luke was, seething with jealousy.

"Fuck this!" said Lily and Luke at the same time and stormed over to their respective loved ones.

"Hands off bitch." Both Luke and Lily yelled out in rage. Nobody was messing with their men.

Holden, Noah, Melissa and Tony turned to stare at Lily and Luke in shock.

"What do you want?" asked Noah. "You said you didn't want to be in a relationship."

"You're coming home now!" Luke demanded.

"What's your problem? I'm just having some fun with hot tub Tony." Noah was nonchalant.

"I said pay your tab and let's get the hell out of here." yelled Luke. "Now!"

"You heard your son. We are leaving, now!" said Lily to Holden in a loud voice.

Katie and Chris were leaning against the side of their pool table trying not to laugh too loudly at the scene in front of them.

-P-

Noah and Holden paid their tab and left with Luke and Lily. It was quiet in the car on the way home. When they got home, Luke ran right up to his bedroom. Noah followed closely and before Luke could shut his door, Noah forced himself into the room.

"Don't you dare lock me out, Luke." yelled Noah. "We need to talk about this."

"Just go away, Noah. Tonight showed me all I needed to know."

"What are you talking about?"

"You were going to sleep with Tony, weren't you?" accused Luke.

"No, what on earth gave you that idea?" He shuttered at the thought, "He's still strange and creepy."

"I saw you with him. You were touching each other." accused Luke again.

"You're jealous. You saw a man coming on to me and it made you jealous." Noah said trying to add surprise to his accusation.

"No, I was mad you were drinking." lied Luke. Noah started to laugh because he didn't believe Luke. "Okay, yes, I was jealous. Are you happy now?"

"No, I'm not happy. Why are you jealous?"

"Oh alright." yelled a crying Luke. "I love you and I want to be with you but I'm scared."

Noah walked over to Luke and put a hand on his face. "I want so much to be with you too, Luke. I know you are scared, but I'm just as scared as you are but what frightens me that most is the thought of losing you again."

Noah could see that Luke was fighting a battle within himself between his heart and his brain. He knew just what to say to Luke.

"Luke, why can't you just go with your feelings and just do it. Just feel what you are feeling and just let it go." Noah said emotionally, remembering Luke's words when he was scared to get back with Luke after Luke kissed Brian. Luke' mind wandered back to when he said that to Noah in the middle of Old Town. _(flashback Video –Luke fighting with Noah in Old Town before they had sex – LukeVanFan part 253 1:00)_

Luke finally let go of all the hurt, pain and emptiness that was part of his life for such a long time. His feelings took over as he pushed Noah up against the bedroom door and proceeded to lay a big kiss on Noah's lips recalling the first time they made love_. (flashback Video – Luke and Noah have sex. – LukeVanFan part 253 3:04)_

Luke reached down to lock the door. His hands moved up from Noah's waist to the bottom of Noah's tank top as he slowly pulled it over Noah's head while rubbing his hands around Noah's muscular chest.

Noah raised his hands to each side of Luke's face never breaking contact with Luke's big brown eyes, "Is this what you want, Luke?"

"Yes." Luke muttered in a hoarse voice. "I want you Noah. I've only ever wanted you."

Noah could see the love returning in Luke's eyes.

Noah reached down to pull Luke's stripped shirt over his head and let it hit the floor. They kissed deeply again. Noah broke the kiss as they were both gasping for air. Pulling back, Noah stood there staring at Luke as if to make sure all that was happening was real and not just a fantasy he'd lived with the last six months. Closing the gap between them, Noah reached down to unbuckle Luke's pants while looking directly into Luke's eyes. With the belt out of the way, Noah now easily reached for the zipper and pushed Luke's pants and briefs down to cup his bare ass.

"I've wanted you here like this for a long time, Luke." Noah's voice is full of passion. "I want you Luke, I want you so bad."

"You can take me, Noah. I want everything you can give me." said Luke in a calm voice.

Noah kissed Luke again, hoping Luke would swallow his tongue but the kiss broke and Noah began kissing Luke's neck. He kissed his way down Luke's body until he was on his knees in front of Luke's waist. He took Luke's erection in his mouth and started sucking on it causing Luke to moan.

"That's so good, Noah." Luke moaned.

Luke was lost in passion knowing that Noah's lips were wrapped around his erection but was soon pulled out of his haze when he felt Noah's finger around his ass. Luke spread his legs to allow Noah more access. Noah slipped one finger in, moving it around to loosen him up and soon had a second and a third finger added.

"Do it now, Noah." begged Luke.

Noah removed his fingers and they moved over to the bed. Luke got down on the bed with his ass up in the air. Noah entered him slowly as Luke moaned into his pillow. He stayed completely impaled in Luke until Luke gave him the permission to move and when he did, he slowly withdrew and pushed himself to the hilt again. Noah kept up this pace for about ten minutes before he withdrew fully from Luke and flipped Luke over on his back. They both loved this position for the same reason. To look into each other's eyes while they made love. They felt they could connect on a spiritual level that only increased their pleasure.

Noah pushed himself back in as Luke wrapped his legs around Noah's waist. As Noah got used to the new position as he fucked up into Luke's ass so he could properly move himself along Luke's prostate. He was large enough to press against it anyway but adding more friction only increased the pleasure for Luke.

Noah considered himself a generous lover. He always made Luke's pleasure foremost in his mind but as it ended up, he was always rewarded with great sex for himself.

"God, Noah, it's so good." moaned Luke. "Oh, right there… oohhh… that's it Noah… now pound it."

Noah picked up the pace. He knew he wasn't going to last long but he knew it was great for Luke as his eyes were rolling back. He kept looking at his lover and knew that after all the pain that Luke had gone through, that he could give Luke this much pleasure only heightened the experience for Noah but all too soon, both men were climaxing at the same time. Noah sending his seed into Luke and Luke spraying his seed all over himself and Noah.

Neither man could express the happiness of what just happened. Noah began to cry into Luke's shoulder and Luke comforted him as his own tears fell slowly down his cheeks. It's been a long trial for both but Luke felt that this was a new start for them and what an amazing start it was. "All it took was Tony hitting on Noah" Luke said to himself as he giggled out loud.

"What are you laughing for?" a frightened Noah asked. "Wasn't it good for you?"

"That was so… out of body." Luke said in amazement. Noah relaxed; he knew that it was good for Luke.

"It was great but I think your parents probably heard us." Noah was laughing.

"Who cares. We are adults and since we're leaving for Los Angeles in a few days…"

"What?" Noah was shocked "So it took sex to make you change your mind?" laughed Noah.

"It took great sex… Out of body sex." laughed Luke.

"It's great to see you laughing again." said Noah with tears in his eyes. "I didn't think I'd ever see that again."

"You will, Noah. You're my happy ending." replied Luke. _(flashback Video – Noah tells Luke that he's his happy ending. – LukeVanFan part 188 4:33)_

Noah was surprised to hear him say that. He hasn't believed in a happy ending for himself since Holden had an affair with Carly. Noah looked over at Luke's dresser and saw the watch he had given Luke for Christmas two years ago. He got up, grabbed it and slipped back into bed.

"Luke, I gave this watch to you when I wanted to be with you and I want to put it back on you again." said Noah.

Looking at the watch both Luke and Noah recalled that fateful day before Christmas. _(flashback Video – Noah gives Luke a watch. – LukeVanFan part 239 3:11)_

"Sure Noah." Luke smiled. Noah gently lifted Luke's wrist and put the watch to where it belonged.

"But, if we are able to work things out and I think we will be able too, I want to replace this watch with a ring at Christmas. I know it's way too early to talk about that but that's where I'm heading, Luke. I never want to lose you again." Noah said with tears in his eyes, hoping that Luke wouldn't reject him.

"I would like that Noah." replied Luke with tears running down his face. He knew that Noah meant every word he said. He pulled Noah down on top of him and said, "Ready for round two?"

"Sure am." replied Noah excitedly.

"This time, it's your turn." winked Luke, his eyes full of love.

Noah's smile exploded across his face as he rolled Luke over on top of him.

-P-

The next morning, Luke and Noah took a shower together, got dressed and went down stairs to the kitchen. They were surprised to see Holden sitting at the table dressed in the same clothes that he wore last night.

"What's going on?" Luke looked strangely as his dad.

"Pancakes this morning and if I can get one of you to cook the sausage, we can have that too." said Lily as she setup the griddle.

"I'll cook the sausage." offered Holden.

Luke and Noah looked at each other with a knowing eye. Holden must have spent the night.

Lily saw the look and said "Well, I figured we all needed the calories."

Luke paused. They knew that he and Noah had sex, and then he realized what she said.

"What? We all need?" Luke asked.

"Yes, Luke, we all need. You weren't the only one's busy last night." winked Lily.

Seeing Luke's face, "You had to ask, didn't you?" giggled Noah.

Luke got up and hugged his parents.

"We have a lot of issues to work out but we saw how you two sat down and calmly discussed your issues, so we did too." said Holden.

"What made you change your mind, Mom?" asked Luke.

"That bitch Melissa, pawing all over your father. And you?"

"That bitch Tony, pawing all over Noah." laughed Luke. Noah, Lily and Holden joined in Luke's laughter. Lily and Holden hadn't seen Luke laugh in such a long time. It was good to hear Luke Laugh and see the smile that could light up the room return to their son's face.

Holden and Noah looked at each other as Holden winked at Noah and gave a knowing smile.

"So, what are you all going to do today?" asked Lily.

"Well, I have to work on my movie a little, if I can concentrate." giggled Noah as he reached over and kissed Luke on the neck.

Both Lily and Holden were thrilled that Luke and Noah had finally let go of all that stood in their way and reunited.

"I think I'm going to start packing." said Luke. "I'm going to Los Angeles with Noah."

Lily and Holden froze as they were making breakfast.

"Watch the pancakes, Holden." said Lily as she walked over to where Luke and Noah were standing and gave them a big hug. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I want to do this." replied Luke. "Tony put a fire under my ass. It killed me to see Tony with Noah. I came to the realization that Noah could be with someone like Tony and it freaked me out."

Lily went back to making breakfast and Holden came over to give them a hug and offered his congratulations.

"There is also something else." Luke said. "Well, if everything works out, Noah's going to ask me to marry him at Christmas."

Lily and Holden froze for a second time while making breakfast.

"I wanted Luke to know how serious I was about making this work. Christmas is nine months away and we still have a lot to work on in our relationship but I think we can make it this time." said Noah.

"I think we would rather not let anyone know about this yet." replied Luke looking at Noah agreeing with him.

"I think that's wise. I think you can do it."

"Thanks… uh… Dad." giggled Noah. He meant it as a joke.

Holden walked up to Noah, with tears in his eyes and pulled Noah into a hug. "I would be proud to have you call me Dad."

"Thanks." Noah was crying. To have someone he actually wanted to call dad was amazing to Noah.

Holden and Lily switched and she was crying when she gave Noah a hug.

"You can call me mom too if you want." said Lily through her tears. Noah cried with her and mumbled "Mom."

Breakfast was finally ready after all the interruptions and they sat down to eat. Luke and Noah had begun a new chapter in their relationship. Lily and Holden, in seeing how Luke and Noah handled their issues, found renewed strength to work on their own relationship.

Luke and Noah spent their last day in Oakdale as they said they would. Luke packed and Noah worked on his film a little bit. They had a romantic lunch at The Lakeview. Luke helped Noah with his tie before their romantic lunch date and both had a sense they had come full circle when Noah first kissed Luke as he straightened Noah's tie. _(flashback Video – Luke and Noah's first kiss. – LukeVanFan part 41 :26)_

Their last night in Oakdale, was spent with the family at the farm. All took notice that Luke and Noah strolled into the kitchen hand in hand. Everyone was thrilled that Luke and Noah found their way back to each other. The next morning, after a big breakfast at the farm and after the entire family wished them well, Luke and Noah boarded Lucinda's jet that would take them to Los Angeles to begin their life anew as lovers, as partners, as family.

-P-

The End.


End file.
